I was focusing on the lost. Like many others, I had lost someone to covid, lost someone else to cancer, lost my job (and with it, I felt, my future), I had lost my life I gave up for the job that I lost, the list just kept going. I let bitterness slide into my mind and then most recently, my move that erupted into chaos with every new development. From simple UHaul mess ups over and over to issues with property management, people not keeping their word, and even lack of judgement on how big my four door sedan is, I was spiraling into a state where all I could see was bad. I hated it, I could see I was doing it but couldn't stop and then what is worse, I hated myself for getting to that point.
It all came to a crashing halt yesterday, almost literally. I was stressed, nothing had gone the way it was supposed to but somehow things had worked out enough to get through. I had my car fully loaded with what was left of my stuff that hadn't fit into the UHaul and hadn't been stored with an amazing friend I made while living where I was. My puppy was in the backseat and I was making my way to my parents. It was snowy and I hadn't gotten my snow tires on yet since I had just recently gotten my car back from the shop after being side swiped. I was driving at about 50 km/hr on an 80 km/hr road (yes I was being one of those people) and just as I got over the peak of a hill and started to go downhill, I saw a car ahead start to skid out of control. I hit my brakes and quickly realized there was no traction. I tried every trick I knew, even streering into the skid but as if in slow motion, my car slid a full 360 and slid down into the ditch softly stopping without hitting anything. My car was stuck. I was stuck.
I looked over and saw someone walking towards my car. This man waved to a pickup truck driver who also stopped. Without a single hesitation, both checked to make sure I was okay, said hi to my pup and proceeded to work on hooking up my car to the pickup to pull out. It was across two active lanes so we had to wait for a gap, which seemed to never come, but they patiently waited. Once we got one the truck driver backed up while the other man hooked my car up to get it out as quick as possible. A quick tug and my car was free. I pulled over after to thank them and try to find anything in my car to give them as thanks but was told not to worry and just to drive safe.
As I pulled away I felt tears in my eyes. Not because I was sad, not because I was scared but because instantly all of the things I have to be grateful for came flooding into my mind. The things I had failed to see. The fact that yes, I lost my job but not the experience. The fact that my amazing parents and family have been there for me every step of the way. The fact that I have friends who showed up for me to help when there really was nothing in it for them and they did it without question. The fact that I have someone in my life willing to give up days, weeks, just to help me and be there for me, asking nothing in return. The fact that even just living somewhere for a short period of time I came to know an incredible woman who helped me move without hesitation and even let me store things at her place while I figured stuff out. The fact that complete strangers had stopped in a snowstorm and the freezing cold to pull me out without asking for anything.
Days still feel heavy, stress still is there but, to those complete strangers, thank you for restoring my faith in humanity and helping me see a much brighter side to this world.
