Take a
quick look through Instagram, Facebook or even Twitter and it will not take
long to find a meme that resembles something along the lines of “I am NOT broken;
I am just <insert whatever you please here>”.
Whichever way
it is worded, or whatever background is selected, the sentiment remains the
same; “Nothing could possibly be stronger than me and capable of making me feel
like something is actually wrong”. This is an incredibly dangerous statement.
It sets the groundwork to dismiss impactful events as “not important” or “less
severe” in someone’s mind.
First, what
is it about being “broken” that people are denying? Let’s use a comparison that
everyone can understand: a teenager is snowboarding and wipes out down the
hill. In the awkward fall, the board lands on this teenager’s arm. This teenager
goes directly to the hospital where they receive an X-Ray on their arm. This
X-Ray determines that their radius is broken and, refers them to a Doctor for
proper treatment.
From here,
the teenager has two choices; accept that their arm is broken and receive
proper treatment or, deny that the fall broke their arm, leave the hospital and
insist that their arm is not “broken” it is just “hurt” and needs time to heal.
As someone who has a slightly crooked pinky finger due to “healing”, I know which
option I will select.
There is no
logical reason to deny that this bone is actually broken. You can feel the
pain, see the X-Ray image and, most importantly, realize that your arm is not
functioning the way it should. The term broken does not mean irrepairable, it
does not mean damaged forever and, it most certainly does not mean that the
person is weak. It is a diagnosis that educates someone on what to do moving
forward to ensure that everything heals properly.
So why is
being emotionally “broken” such a terrible thing to admit? The same teenager is
working their way through High School and they get a call down to the principal’s
office. The teenager is informed that their brother has been in a terrible
accident and died on site. This is traumatic. This is terrifying. This is
damaging. Not only is the event itself going to sit heavy on this teenager’s
chest for years, it will also affect how they interact with friends going
forward. A fear of abandonment has now crept into their minds and, until this
is identified, worst-case scenarios will always be assumed in every situation.
They will become their own worst enemy.
This teenager is not weak nor, are they
damaged forever, they just have not been given the proper tools to actually
begin repairing. Two years down the line, they will be posting about how no
matter what they have been through, they are not broken… they are too strong
for that to ever happen. While posting this, they are simultaneously, sabotaging
every relationship they have ever had by allowing paranoia to creep into their
minds and therefore choking each relationship to death.
Every
situation is different, every situation will have an effect on someone. It
doesn’t have to be as drastic as a sudden death in the family, it could be
abandonment from friends, a failed grade that separated them from all of their
friends or even, a lost pet. People cope different, some not at all. In all
situations, they need help. The only way to get help, is to realize that you
need it.
Why is
being “broken” such a bad thing? Why is it something that we have been taught
to feel shame about? It isn’t a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength. It
means you have had the strength to face a problem head on and, realize that,
maybe just maybe, you need help.
We have not
all grown up to be trained counsellors or psychologists, just like we have not
grown up to all be doctors. I would not try to fix my own broken leg; I would
trust the doctor. As a generation, we need to become comfortable with the idea
that “broken” can actually be a positive term. We need to understand that
realizing something may be affecting us more than we thought to begin with, is
a sign of maturity and intelligence.
Everyone is
“broken” in their own way. Some are in denial, some are in repair and some have
been mended. Where along the spectrum do you want to be?
