I've noticed that as I get older, I don't want the same people in my life that I used to. No longer do I crave those people that laugh at my jokes and boost my ego. No longer do I care if the person I'm with likes the same music that I do or cheers for the same sports team. Those people that used to always be down for a drink no matter the time or day, or the ones that always wanted to go out now are no where to be found when real life events hit. Don't get me wrong, those friendships were still real, just different. They were based around an environment that just couldn't last.
Instead of craving someone to tell me that my new hair colour looks great, I crave someone who instead, will ask me how my new job is going and actually listen to my response. Instead of getting excited when a friend messages me to go out to the bar for a drink, I smile when my friend asks me to go for a walk, for dinner or even just if it's a good time to call. Instead of hoping that someone will agree with me about everything because my fragile inexperienced ego can't take a disagreement, I look to hear a different perspective from my friends who aren't afraid to disagree with me. Instead of telling me everything is okay because I'm nervous about moving, they send me a list of things to do in the new city and tell me they can't wait to do those things with me when they visit. Instead of looking to date a man who just wants to make me happy, I look for someone who knows how to make himself happy and isn't afraid of sadness.
Yes, I know some of my friends are laughing at this right now and are ready to tell me I'm getting old, and that's why I love you. It's weird, it feels like it almost happened overnight but I know it didn't. It feels like all of a sudden, I looked around and I wanted different things, from people, from my life, from everything. Don't get me wrong, I still love the late nights with a few drinks and the nights we end on the dance floor as the lights come on, but that's no longer the solid connections.
My friends now are the ones who know how to tell me I'm being crazy or dramatic when I am, and aren't afraid that I might get annoyed. My friends are the ones who, even in the hardest times, tell me the truth, knowing that even if it upsets me in that time, our bond is stronger than that and I will get over it and be grateful for the truth. My friends are the ones that know they can say "not today" or even "too tired" and get that I will understand. My friends are the ones that understand "life happens" and know I understand the same.
It's a lesson I wish I learned a little earlier but I am happy I am slowly learning now. The value of real, honest and opinionated people is impossible to quantify but I know I am lucky enough to have quite a few people like that in my life.
The one lesson I wish I had learned sooner: Don't be afraid of disagreement, don't be afraid to have a different opinion and express it and don't be afraid if someone does the same to you. Respect those people, they are the ones you want in your life.
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