Tough Enough

To every woman that has ever been woken up by an alarm in the morning, exhausted and burnt out, ready to hit snooze, roll over and fall asleep again only to be reminded of the responsibilities and burdens that today holds and forced themselves out of bed, it will never be enough.

To every woman that has gone through their entire wardrobe to find that they don’t even own that one outfit that doesn’t make them feel “too fat” or “too skinny” but get dressed anyway, it will never be enough.

To those women who spend time In front of their mirror attempting to contour to perfection, cover their flaws and create new features, simply to force a smile and pretend that they are confident, it will never be enough.

To the women who have a whole arsenal of hairdryers, straighteners, curlers and product to style their hair in that trendy way that the magazine shows is in style, it will never be enough.

To all of the women who grind through work, knowing that each day that man sitting next to them with less experience is being paid the same, or worse more, but still manages to smile and give it everything they have, it will never be enough.

To that woman that has finished work exhausted from giving it everything, knows she still has a long laundry list of “to do’s” but still, sips back that coffee and gives everything left at the gym to obtain that perfect body, it will never be enough.

To the women that study and learn everything they can just to get a leg up on the competition, it will never be enough.

To each woman that tries to silence her hungry child from crying in the grocery store to avoid upsetting others, it will never be enough.

To the woman who cooks the perfect meals, watches how often she texts her crush, focuses on her friends, eats a balanced diet, makes time for her family and is never late for anything, it will never be enough.

You see, “enough” is a term that I have heard too much lately. Whether it is to encourage “you have studied enough”, “you have saved enough” or even simply, “you are more than enough”. Or in a negative way “you don’t eat enough”, “I don’t see you enough” or, “not enough time” the implications are the same. There is some silly measurement that we consider “enough” and somehow, everyone is supposed to know where that line is.

You can give every single ounce of energy you have in an attempt to be that woman you see as “perfect” and it will never be enough. Not to anyone else, but to yourself. You will always look back and think you did not save enough or you did not do enough. This is a dangerous way of thinking that ultimately will lead to you looking in the mirror and thinking, “I am not enough”. Trust me, I know.

Whether you are hearth broken, stressed at work, cramming for school, practicing for a sport, paying bills or just trying to get through a day, stop trying to decide if you are or aren’t enough. The answer, in your mind, will always have a nagging doubt.

So now, I ask: enough in comparison to what? Or even worse, to who? What does “enough” even mean? How can someone be enough? Enough is a measurement that does not match with human nature or even fit in day-to-day life. There will always be more to do. Sorry, let me repeat that, there will ALWAYS be more to do. So what? There is always tomorrow.

What are you trying to be enough for?

For your parents to be proud? They already are.

To be a role model to your kids? You already are.

To be that woman that the men want? They already do.

To be a woman that others want to be? They already do.

To be a straight A student? Keep studying.

To be a varsity athlete? Keep practicing.

Enough is a foolish frame of mind. We have tricked ourselves into believing that if we measure things on if they are enough or not, we will somehow conclude one day that all the work we need to do is done. Hate to break it to you but that is not a real thing! There will always be a new challenge, a new obstacle and a new day.

Stop thinking that you missed that shot because you didn’t practice enough.

Stop believing that you would like yourself more in the mirror if you worked out enough.

Stop thinking he left you because you weren’t enough.

Stop letting yourself feel that you aren’t enough.

Stop that anxiety driving, gut wrenching thought process.

Stop..... Just stop.

Start thinking in terms of accomplishments and actual measurable qualities. Focus on the hours you studied and realized your brain in mush and you deserve a break, not that you have studied enough. Listen to your body at the gym, it will tell you when you have maxed out, not when you have done enough.

Most importantly, focus on the person in YOU that you like and the person that deserves to feel respected and loved, not whether or not you are enough for someone else’s approval.

You are you.

Ladies, I know there are days where nothing you do feels right, where it feels like the world is stacked up against you. I know there are days where that alarm clock may as well be someone dropping a weight onto your chest. And I know, this is easier said than done. So help each other please. Competition is healthy to a point but just remember, if we aren’t supporting each other, who is? 

Not just because it is International Women's Day, but because everyone needs a boost once in a while. Please, take a second to tell a woman in your life the things that amaze you about her. If you feel jealous about something, someone else has or can do, ask them how they got there. Compliment them for it. 

Ask for help when you need it. Do things that make you feel good. Be you!

And when it comes down to it, remember, you are not “enough”, you are so much more than that.