What Can We Do?

I cried today. Not for a specific reason, and yet for so many reasons. It wasn’t the type of tears that fall begging for someone to hold me, it wasn’t the tears I’ve cried at funerals mourning the loss of a loved one, it wasn’t like tears I had ever cried before.

I wasn’t trying to hide from anyone to seem brave or to pretend I was okay, they were simply my tears and, mine alone. As silly and as odd as it sounded, I simply wanted to cry, uninterrupted without the burden of trying to explain why. I didn’t need a hug, or someone to tell me they were there for me, I know they are. I didn’t need a reminder that I wasn’t alone, I know I’m not. I simply needed to let it out. Something in my brain just told me it was time to let everything out… and I don’t own a punching bag at this time so, the tears just started to fall.

These tears were all the emotions that had been caught in my throat but didn’t come out. It was the frustrations that built over time, those moments where my eyes glossed over as if tears were going to fall but they didn’t. It was the moments of anger and sadness I had stacked on top of each other. It was the loss of a friend, the fear for a family member, the constant reminder that the future, is completely outside of our control.

Tragedies, one after another, constantly in your face no matter where you look. The feeling of helplessness mixed with a complete lack of understanding of the emotions you are feeling. Quicker to anger than you mean to be, and therefore hurting those you love with a sharper than intended response. Lower energy, as the “to do” list continues to pile up and you convince yourself that when the gyms open you will get back in shape, but who really knows when that will be. The feeling of being trapped in a “twilight zone” where you are just “killing time” with no real purpose or plan. Spinning in circles, no real path.

I spent so much time, pushing myself forward, constantly striving to improve one way or another, that I forgot what it felt like to focus on things closer to home or even in my own mind. I was always pushing to the next step, the next moment, that really, I hadn’t stopped to check in with me. I hadn’t taken those moments to grieve what I needed to grieve or even process huge life changes that had taken place. It was simply about pushing down those doubts and emotions and moving on to the next step. Good or bad, the dialogue in my mind had become so disconnected with my body that my brain could be screaming at me to slow down, but my body would do the opposite. I had burned myself out before and instead of really giving myself a moment to understand what had caused it, I started focusing on moving forward from it once I realized what it was.

I find myself upset, with myself, with the world, with my lack of control over my future right now, but then even more upset that I can’t just enjoy the time I have. I end up at a war with myself, appreciating the time I have but, still trying to plan for an unpredictable future.

I know I am not the only one who has escaped even just for a moment, whether it’s to finally let those tears fall or to just be alone. We were never taught how to handle this. This wasn’t something we learned in school, nor is it something that could ever be prepared for. Each situation is so unique that it would be impossible to tell someone the best way to get through this.

My tears fell, for no specific reason but for so many reasons. It didn’t magically make everything okay by just letting it out, but it made my chest feel just a little lighter. It helped me to take a deep breath in, hold my head up, and realize that I’m going to be okay.

You've Got a Friend in Me

It's amazing how priorities change. Something that seemed so important and significant a month ago, doesn't even hit the radar anymore. One little event or person that caused you to lose sleep this same day last year, is a distant memory today that doesn't even cause a blip in your pulse if it crosses your mind. The people you swore were your "bff" and imagined hanging out together old and wrinkly, are simply another name on your Instagram feed that pops up once in a while. 

I've noticed that as I get older, I don't want the same people in my life that I used to. No longer do I crave those people that laugh at my jokes and boost my ego. No longer do I care if the person I'm with likes the same music that I do or cheers for the same sports team. Those people that used to always be down for a drink no matter the time or day, or the ones that always wanted to go out now are no where to be found when real life events hit. Don't get me wrong, those friendships were still real, just different. They were based around an environment that just couldn't last. 

Instead of craving someone to tell me that my new hair colour looks great, I crave someone who instead, will ask me how my new job is going and actually listen to my response. Instead of getting excited when a friend messages me to go out to the bar for a drink, I smile when my friend asks me to go for a walk, for dinner or even just if it's a good time to call. Instead of hoping that someone will agree with me about everything because my fragile inexperienced ego can't take a disagreement, I look to hear a different perspective from my friends who aren't afraid to disagree with me. Instead of telling me everything is okay because I'm nervous about moving, they send me a list of things to do in the new city and tell me they can't wait to do those things with me when they visit. Instead of looking to date a man who just wants to make me happy, I look for someone who knows how to make himself happy and isn't afraid of sadness.

Yes, I know some of my friends are laughing at this right now and are ready to tell me I'm getting old, and that's why I love you. It's weird, it feels like it almost happened overnight but I know it didn't. It feels like all of a sudden, I looked around and I wanted different things, from people, from my life, from everything. Don't get me wrong, I still love the late nights with a few drinks and the nights we end on the dance floor as the lights come on, but that's no longer the solid connections. 

My friends now are the ones who know how to tell me I'm being crazy or dramatic when I am, and aren't afraid that I might get annoyed. My friends are the ones who, even in the hardest times, tell me the truth, knowing that even if it upsets me in that time, our bond is stronger than that and I will get over it and be grateful for the truth. My friends are the ones that know they can say "not today" or even "too tired" and get that I will understand. My friends are the ones that understand "life happens" and know I understand the same. 

It's a lesson I wish I learned a little earlier but I am happy I am slowly learning now. The value of real, honest and opinionated people is impossible to quantify but I know I am lucky enough to have quite a few people like that in my life. 

The one lesson I wish I had learned sooner: Don't be afraid of disagreement, don't be afraid to have a different opinion and express it and don't be afraid if someone does the same to you. Respect those people, they are the ones you want in your life.

Hold on Loosely

Take a handful of playdoh and roll it up into a perfect ball. Place the playdoh in your hand with your palm facing upward and slight cupped. If you tilt your hand side to side, the playdoh will roll back and fourth and ultimately fall out of the cup back to the table.

Now, place the playdoh back in your hand and fold your hand over fully without pressing into the ball. You can tilt your hand back and fourth, even shake your hand. The ball will roll around inside your hand, maybe even shift it's shape slightly but, will remain within your hand.

Next, grip as tightly as you can into the playdoh. Try to keep it in that ball form and do not allow any to escape through the cracks of your fingers but, squeeze as hard as you can. The ball will quickly be destroyed and, no matter how hard you fight, the playdoh will begin to escape through your fingers.

Consider this ball your relationships, your friendships, even your goals. The harder and tighter you hold onto someone or an idea, the more you destroy the initial thing you were holding onto. The tighter you hold onto how something "should be" or how someone "should act" the more you will have to fight with things going "wrong".

On the other side...no effort at all, and you lose everything.

It's an almost impossible balance to obtain. Somehow, you have to keep the goal in mind, or show the person affection, let it shift and move around, without grasping too tightly or letting go (I seem to remember a song about this...).

The point is, the harder we try to fight to keep things exactly the same and in the same place, the more we are at risk of destroying it completely. 

Things change, people change, goals change.

Running on Empty

Today was hard and I didn’t know why. The weather was overcast and colder than it should be, but that shouldn’t matter. Work is slowing down which can put a strain on finances, but at least I have a job. I’m stressing about an upcoming recruitment test, but at least I have the opportunity. The pain from whiplash I received after my car was rear ended is tiresome, but it could have been a lot worse. I haven’t been able to go to the gym or be as active as I would like, but at least my physio will be covered. I put on a few extra pounds over the past month, making me pull at my clothing and try on a few extra outfits before I go out, but I am still in better shape than I was two years ago.

I should be grateful for those amazing people I have in my life, and I am. I should be thankful for the roof over my head and the food in my fridge, and I am.  I should just be happy and enjoy my life, but today I can’t.

For some reason, something just feels off. Everything takes a little extra effort. I’m irritable and snapping on those people that are just trying to help. I’m tired and lack the normal motivation I carry. I’m worried about what I’m going to wear for an interview even though I still have days to plan. My chest feels tight and my mind won’t focus. Why can’t I just be happy? Why can’t I just be grateful?

I get angry with myself when I feel this way. I have never been diagnosed with depression, nor do I think I need to be. These days are few and far in between. I have people I can talk to but, I don’t know how to explain what is going through my head.

The day to day stress, the added up toll each event has taken on me and the overall demands that come simply from being an adult have become almost too much. I say almost because I still got up in the morning. I still put my feet on the floor as much as I didn’t want to, and I still dragged myself outside to make sure my dog got outside. The fresh air woke me up a little and gave me hope that this feeling would lift but it didn’t. Just another reason to be disappointed in myself.

I got dressed and got to work. I found small, easy tasks to keep me busy and just did them at my own pace. I kept reminding myself just to be grateful for the job. Each task felt mindless, and worse, meaningless but, with each task complete, at least I did something. I started looking through my calendar to see what I could plan to help lift this and realized I don’t have a day off for the next two weeks…. Oh goody. That’s okay, at least I have a job.

It wasn’t until I stopped for lunch that I realized what this was, I am burnt out. Plain and simple. I am tired from the physical pain in my neck and shoulders, I am tired of feeling like no matter how hard I work it will never be enough and ultimately, I am just tired. Now what?

Now, it’s time to stop being mad with myself. It’s time to stop being disappointed in myself for feeling this way and just accept that this is a hard day. It’s time to give myself permission to feel like this and, to do what I must so that I feel better. The more I fight this the worse it gets. The more I blame myself and call myself “selfish” or “spoiled”, the more I start to believe it and the worse I will feel.

I am not writing this for pity, I am writing this because I know EVERYONE has felt this way one time or another. Sure, there are reasons I can blame but, when push comes to shove, the reason is simple, I am burnt out just like so many of you. It’s hard sometimes to pin point it. You just start to feel tired, start to count the days until a day off, start to feel the weight on your chest… slowly over time. Before you know it, your energy is at zero and all you want to do is go to the nearest international airport and hop on a plane to some tropical island where the sun is shining, the water is clear and you have a delicious drink in your hand without a care in the world.

So how am I going to cope today? I am going to start planning that trip. Maybe it won’t be for another couple months or maybe not for a year but, it will happen, and I am going to start taking small little steps to get to it. Much like today at work, those small mindless, meaningless tasks may feel like nothing but, they add up to complete an entire shift. Then before you know it, it’s home time.

All that cheesy stuff of “eat right”, “get exercise”, “take time to appreciate the little things”… all great advice but not realistic right now. Sure, I can pick to snack on carrots instead of chips (that’s easy) and, I can go for a walk with my dog (not the same feeling as an actual workout but it’s something) and, I can appreciate so much in my life but, how will that help now? Nothing is going to immediately help so, for now, it’s time to just acknowledge that I am allowed to feel this way, it will pass and I can do small things to push that along.

Today may have been hard, tomorrow may be harder, but at least now I can accept that and let myself feel that way. At least now, I know what I have to do and can stop beating myself up for something I can’t control.

Push It

We live in a society where everyone lives by a highlight reel broadcasted on Instagram or Snapchat that hides their “bloopers” or “reality” from the world. Everything is edited, filtered or catered to an audience. If you are sitting there thinking “I don’t use filters” and “I don’t do this” … if you are being honest, good for you but, if I’m being honest, I call BS. Whether you use a filter on a picture or simply filter through which pictures you post, it is still a filter. Everyone caters their social media to portray whatever image it is that they want others to see. Even those who post EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING, are still working to create a specific image. I can focus on how twisted this world is that we live in where many determine their value simply by their social media presence but, I feel like that topic is tired and repetitive. We all know the implications, we all claim we don’t do it and yet we all do, let’s move on.

What I want to focus on is a message that seems to keep coming up in so many social media feeds which is “you don’t NEED a boyfriend” or “you don’t NEED something you don’t have”. These are very important messages that I do agree with but, I also think it can stray away from another message of; “it’s okay to WANT something”. Just because you don’t need something but want something, doesn’t make you a bad person or a weak person. It is human nature and a strong motivating factor to keep moving forward in your life.

Just because you have a comfortable life, doesn't mean you can't give up on wanting adventure.

Just because you have accepted that you don’t need more money to be happy, doesn’t mean you can’t work harder at your job to move up the ladder and make more. 

Just because you don’t need a significant other, doesn’t mean you can’t go on dates and meet no people hoping that there is someone out there you click with. 

Just because you have accepted that you don’t need that perfect beach body, doesn’t mean that you can’t push yourself harder at the gym or make healthier choices for food… even just occasionally.

Desire and wanting is not a bad thing. It comes down to what you do with it that will determine one way or another. You can look at a picture of your friend at a beautiful resort and wish you had the means to make a vacation like that happen for yourself but, instead of getting jealous, maybe talk to that person. Ask them how they saved up. Maybe take a good look at what you are spending your money on and start to prioritize or, even meet with a Financial Advisor.

That drive that can come from a basic desire of something you want for yourself can be powerful if you channel it right. Don’t let it turn into jealousy or self pity but, embrace it and work towards what you want.

I truly believe you should find happiness with what you have and be grateful for it all. That doesn’t mean you can’t push for more. I’m not going to lie, after seeing some messages on social media I almost started to feel guilty for the drive and ambition that I have, for the things that I want in my life. Until I stopped to think about it. Why should I feel guilty for taking steps towards more? I am grateful that I was raised with a drive to keep pushing for more in my life and yet, I love the life I live right now. It isn’t one or the other and ambition should not be frowned on.

Basically, all I am saying is that it is okay to want something. Just don’t blame others for you not having it. Work towards it, push yourself, plan and stick to it.

Tough Enough

To every woman that has ever been woken up by an alarm in the morning, exhausted and burnt out, ready to hit snooze, roll over and fall asleep again only to be reminded of the responsibilities and burdens that today holds and forced themselves out of bed, it will never be enough.

To every woman that has gone through their entire wardrobe to find that they don’t even own that one outfit that doesn’t make them feel “too fat” or “too skinny” but get dressed anyway, it will never be enough.

To those women who spend time In front of their mirror attempting to contour to perfection, cover their flaws and create new features, simply to force a smile and pretend that they are confident, it will never be enough.

To the women who have a whole arsenal of hairdryers, straighteners, curlers and product to style their hair in that trendy way that the magazine shows is in style, it will never be enough.

To all of the women who grind through work, knowing that each day that man sitting next to them with less experience is being paid the same, or worse more, but still manages to smile and give it everything they have, it will never be enough.

To that woman that has finished work exhausted from giving it everything, knows she still has a long laundry list of “to do’s” but still, sips back that coffee and gives everything left at the gym to obtain that perfect body, it will never be enough.

To the women that study and learn everything they can just to get a leg up on the competition, it will never be enough.

To each woman that tries to silence her hungry child from crying in the grocery store to avoid upsetting others, it will never be enough.

To the woman who cooks the perfect meals, watches how often she texts her crush, focuses on her friends, eats a balanced diet, makes time for her family and is never late for anything, it will never be enough.

You see, “enough” is a term that I have heard too much lately. Whether it is to encourage “you have studied enough”, “you have saved enough” or even simply, “you are more than enough”. Or in a negative way “you don’t eat enough”, “I don’t see you enough” or, “not enough time” the implications are the same. There is some silly measurement that we consider “enough” and somehow, everyone is supposed to know where that line is.

You can give every single ounce of energy you have in an attempt to be that woman you see as “perfect” and it will never be enough. Not to anyone else, but to yourself. You will always look back and think you did not save enough or you did not do enough. This is a dangerous way of thinking that ultimately will lead to you looking in the mirror and thinking, “I am not enough”. Trust me, I know.

Whether you are hearth broken, stressed at work, cramming for school, practicing for a sport, paying bills or just trying to get through a day, stop trying to decide if you are or aren’t enough. The answer, in your mind, will always have a nagging doubt.

So now, I ask: enough in comparison to what? Or even worse, to who? What does “enough” even mean? How can someone be enough? Enough is a measurement that does not match with human nature or even fit in day-to-day life. There will always be more to do. Sorry, let me repeat that, there will ALWAYS be more to do. So what? There is always tomorrow.

What are you trying to be enough for?

For your parents to be proud? They already are.

To be a role model to your kids? You already are.

To be that woman that the men want? They already do.

To be a woman that others want to be? They already do.

To be a straight A student? Keep studying.

To be a varsity athlete? Keep practicing.

Enough is a foolish frame of mind. We have tricked ourselves into believing that if we measure things on if they are enough or not, we will somehow conclude one day that all the work we need to do is done. Hate to break it to you but that is not a real thing! There will always be a new challenge, a new obstacle and a new day.

Stop thinking that you missed that shot because you didn’t practice enough.

Stop believing that you would like yourself more in the mirror if you worked out enough.

Stop thinking he left you because you weren’t enough.

Stop letting yourself feel that you aren’t enough.

Stop that anxiety driving, gut wrenching thought process.

Stop..... Just stop.

Start thinking in terms of accomplishments and actual measurable qualities. Focus on the hours you studied and realized your brain in mush and you deserve a break, not that you have studied enough. Listen to your body at the gym, it will tell you when you have maxed out, not when you have done enough.

Most importantly, focus on the person in YOU that you like and the person that deserves to feel respected and loved, not whether or not you are enough for someone else’s approval.

You are you.

Ladies, I know there are days where nothing you do feels right, where it feels like the world is stacked up against you. I know there are days where that alarm clock may as well be someone dropping a weight onto your chest. And I know, this is easier said than done. So help each other please. Competition is healthy to a point but just remember, if we aren’t supporting each other, who is? 

Not just because it is International Women's Day, but because everyone needs a boost once in a while. Please, take a second to tell a woman in your life the things that amaze you about her. If you feel jealous about something, someone else has or can do, ask them how they got there. Compliment them for it. 

Ask for help when you need it. Do things that make you feel good. Be you!

And when it comes down to it, remember, you are not “enough”, you are so much more than that.

Gonna Buy Me a Dog

Gone are the days where everyone seems to be pushing to find that “special someone” to fall in love with, get married, buy a house, have kids and grow old together. Not that there is anything wrong with this, it just does not seem logical or reasonable in many cases anymore. The reality is, in this day and age, a career in many cases will trump a relationship in both men and women’s eyes. The drive to excel independently and to be able to build a life for yourself has become a clear factor in whether someone is compatible or not. If ambitions do not line up or the drive to succeed, the relationship will become one sided. If that drive matches, the relationship could end up clashing.

Do not get me wrong, I am not so jaded and cynical that I believe no relationship will work; I am just realistic in my expectations knowing that there are so many more factors to consider than basic compatibility. In order for a relationship to succeed, both sides need to have made the conscious decision that they fully want to commit to a relationship with the other. They need to wake up every day knowing that this is the person they want to be with that day. The second that changes, it is time to re-evaluate.

So how do you decide if you are ready to actually be in a relationship? There are countless articles, journal entries and quizzes you can take for sure but try it, two different websites will give you two different answers. Ultimately, it comes down to looking at WHY you want a relationship and this is where I have my fun (and yes, I may have written this simply to get to look at pictures of puppies).

1.)    To Make You Happy – Puppy

This one may not be as obvious as some of the others that follow. So many men and women seem to believe that their role as a partner is to make the other person happy. This is INCORRECT. No one can make someone else happy. Until you learn to be happy with yourself and how to handle moods on your own when you are not happy, your relationship will fall into a toxic downward spiral. The reliance on someone else to make you happy creates and very dangerous dynamic that puts incredible pressure on both parties.

If you are simply looking for something to help you get through those tough moments and help motivate you to get out of bed, even on the down days, get a dog.

2.)    To Make You Laugh – Partner

Some may think that this is the same as the previous statement but it is far from it. Wanting someone to keep you laughing is looking for someone with a sense of humour. If you are not already happy, that sense of humour will not be appreciated. In order to truly be looking for a partner, you have to already know how to be at that happy state and therefore, can fully appreciate the humour someone else has to offer.

Wanting to be with someone that makes you laugh is normal. Laughter has been proven to boost overall mood and create stronger bond between two people. The temporary relief that can be found through laughter, from a stressful situation, will be appreciated every time (if timed appropriately of course).

3.)    For Attention – Puppy

Here is a reality check for many. Yes, it feels good with a member of the opposite/ same gender pays attention to you. The rush of hormones and the confidence that can follow can become almost addicting. This is where you really need to use your adult brain here and consider what you are looking for. Attention is cheap and temporary. It means nothing in the end other than that you caught that person’s attention for one moment. This is not sustainable.

If you want that attention from someone to make you feel appreciated, get a puppy. Trust me; at the words “walk”, “treat” or “play”, you will have their undivided attention. When you come home from work after a long day, hold a treat in your hand and your dog will listen attentively to your story.

4.)    For Affection – Partner

This is the mature version of attention. Instead of simply wanting to ego boost and the feeling of importance that comes with someone paying attention to you, this is the actual want for comfort and care. Of course, a puppy can give you affection as well but, this will be shallow and not quite what I mean here. The desire for actual warmth and affection comes from wanting to feel close to another.

Affection provides a warmth and a feeling of acceptance vs attention that boosts confidence temporarily. How do you tell the difference between what you want? Do you still feel the same about the person when they are not admiring you or complimenting you? Is sitting together silently wrapped up in each other’s arms satisfying this need? Then you may be looking for a partner.

5.)    To Cheer You Up – Puppy

Here is where I am sure a few people will disagree (if you have not already). After a long day at work where nothing seemed to go right and your mood has taken a dip, are you looking for someone to cheer you up? Get a puppy.

A significant other can definitely help with the process (the whole making you laugh thing) but, this goes hand in hand with making you happy. The reliance on someone to be there to help control your mood is an unrealistic expectation that can dangerously shift the dynamic of a relationship.

You are an adult; learn what you need do to cheer yourself up. Go for a run, hit the gym, read a book, anything at all, just learn what you need in that moment. No one else will know this better than you and, counting on someone else to do it, is completely unfair. If you are looking for something to bring a smile to your face every time you come home, get a puppy.

6.)    To Support You – Partner

While a puppy can be a great cheering section on a shallow level, if you are looking for that rock of a person that you are ready to go through life with, you are looking for support. This is a two-way street of course and, you need to make sure you are differentiating between simple cheerleaders vs. something with foundation.

While a partner may not always be able to cheer you up, they should always be able to support you. Whether it is in a decision you are trying to make or just to listen, partners should be there for each other to provide support through life’s hardships and victories.

7.)    For Company – Puppy

Do you find yourself getting lonely in the evenings? Looking through your phone to see who is online to chat with or inviting friends over simply to not be alone with your thoughts? Get a puppy. A relationship will not fill this void no matter how much you love your significant other.

If you are just lonely and, want someone to keep you company, look to your friends and pets. Learn to be comfortable alone and learn to listen to those thoughts that seem overwhelming. Be happy with the time you have for yourself where you can be selfish and learn to love yourself first.

While a significant other will provide company in the long wrong, it is the wrong reason to want to jump into a relationship. That sets you up to settle and, puts you in a position where you are still afraid to be alone. Did someone say needy and clingy?

8.)    To Experience Things Together – Partner

The contrast to wanting company would be the actually want to build experiences with someone. If you meet someone and realize that you would love to travel with them, try new restaurants together and learn new things with them, maybe explore that a little more. This could just be a strong friendship but it could also be the foundation to a solid relationship.

The desire to be together in all circumstances and develop a story together is a sign that this person would be more than just company. You have identified someone that you can keep your own identity around but, are looking to let your stories intertwine.

9.)    For Confidence – Puppy

Similar to seeking attention, if you are feeling down (maybe are not so happy about those extra pounds you put on over the past few months) and want a boost, get a puppy. Jumping in to a relationship simply because someone makes you feel good about yourself is a dangerous precedent.

What happens when that significant other of yours does not compliment the way you look in the morning? What happens when they cannot come up with the right thing to say when you do not feel at your best? This is coming from experience, stop counting on those compliments to make yourself feel good.

You can love the way you feel around someone without relying on him or her to make you feel that way. Stop seeking out those compliments to feel good about yourself and learn to compliment yourself. Until you learn that, your relationships will be one sided and dependent.

Let me make one thing clear, I am not naïve and I understand that a compliment from someone can go a long way; look at all of the studies done around people calling others beautiful to study there reaction but, this shouldn’t be the end all and be all of your confidence. Learn to build yourself up every morning and you will be happier in the end. In addition, if all else fails, that adorable little puppy wagging his tail waiting for you to take him for a walk does not care about the extra few pounds. That puppy loves you no matter what.

10.) For Desire – Partner

This is a tricky one, which is why it falls so low on the list. A want for desire (as many of us know) does not necessarily mean a want for a relationship but, if you do not want desire, you probably are not looking for a relationship either. Strip away the support and comfort, ignore the experiences and really consider what the basic instinct behind a relationship is.

I am not talking old gender roles or religious beliefs; I simply mean the hormonal drive that brings people together physically. Without this, a relationship can be very difficult to sustain. While I understand that there are exceptions depending on sexual orientations or physical health, a healthy drive for desire can help to strengthen a relationship.

Overall, you know better than anyone for what you really need. Listen to your intuition and instinct, it can actually be right more than you realize. If something does not feel right, take a step back to understand why. Overall, just make sure you do not let the holiday loneliness persuade you into a relationship simply because you are feeling lonely.

Photo Cred: https://www.facebook.com/KeanPhotography/